Whoever said "love is a feeling!" Oh, wait that was a song back in the 80's I think or it could be from any song on the radio except the christian radio station of course. Infact, if we were to pick apart the songs on love from the secular artists they would say things like you make me feel X, or talk about their heartbreak, and let's not forget sex in their attempt to define love. We sing along because we like the beat and we can relate to the feelings they discuss but what have we done? We have allowed our brains to be saturated in this nonsense that doesn't define love at all. It defines those aspects that we long for and deal with when in love but it's not what makes love-Love. Let's change the station and listen to what Christian artists are singing about love. That can be summed up in one word- God! We all learned in sunday school " God is love" and we've heard it preached over and over "God is love" but what does that really mean. I can't fully grasp the measure in which he loves me, but he definitely makes it clear on how to love and not how to feel loved. God's way is so radical that very few only experience true love. We get into marriag often times trying so hard to feel loved and miss the oppurtunity to love. I tried to love the way the world sings about making my feelings the priority and making my marriage about me, but when I decided to make it about honoring God with loving my husband more than myself and making a conscious choice EVERYDAY to out serve him and he takes the same approach then marriage is awesome! You must learn how to love in order to feel loved. I've never felt like it's been work and there are some of you that feel like it's down right Hard Labor. It's only hard when you're loving with conditions instead of gracing those conditions in love. Take the first step! 1. Identify what his or her needs are and decide to put those needs above your own. 2. Out serve them and sacrifice for them the way Christ did for you and watch how God's way once again proves to be Best. If we could just stop being so prideful and stubborn and choose to be humble we'd love. What are you sacrificing for your spouse? Is it your time or do others get the attention that your spouse longs for? Are you too busy for each other? Are you too busy for your dates? Love- it is a verb and Jesus demonstrated that perfectly, but I can sure bet he didn't FEEL like being whipped, and he didn't FEEL like being spit on,and he didn't FEEL like dying. I'm just so glad Love isn't a feeling! Sacrifice, put your spouses needs above your own and start loving-
John 13:34-35 Jesus says "A new command I give you: Love one another as I have loved you...By this all men will know that you are my disciples if you love one another."
Jeremiah 29:13 " Seek me and you will find me when you seek me with all your heart"
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Put Down the Boxing Gloves
"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it..." (James 4)
Date nights aren't always all fun and games. In fact, as I've just written in a section of my book it is necessary to have the tough conversations over dinner in order to get to a place perhaps where you can fully enjoy one another again. In a most recent date with my hubby as we rode in the car to dinner, I agonized about whether or not to have a conversation with him that had been on my heart for some time. I kept saying "oh I can do it later. I don't want to ruin our date!" Well, God wouldn't let me chicken out because through prayer and fasting God gave me the tools (specific verses) I needed to have the tough conversation and as the lion mustered up the courage to face the wizard so would I! aaaaaaaaa! I hate conflict- don't you? Here's the deal though... through my preparation what I was reminded of were three things: One, my approach is everything! Two, my approach is everything! And Three, why my approach is everything! My approach is never about me approaching my husband in a way that gets him to give me what I want, but my approach is about showing my husband how much I love and respect him. When we approach our spouses as God says " to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit and to consider others better than yourselves, to be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry and to clothe ourselves in humility," then we are communicating our hurts in love not just our hurts. Satan wanted me to think that having a tough conversation over dinner would ruin our date, but he was wrong once again and in the end after a few soggy napkins it proved to be exactly what our date needed. Don't be afraid of the tough conversation... saturate yourself in the word and prayer and if your led, to fasting. Lastly, remember that the tongue is a "restless evil full of deadly poison" just like Satan. It doesn't take much to ruin a relationship with our tongues. For some, it already has. Get back to loving and start taking responsibility for your marriage. Allow your approach to be willing to listen -more than your will to be heard. "Submit to one another out of reverance for Christ" not because your spouse "deserves it" but because Christ does! :)
Scripture references: James 3:8,James1:19,Philippians2:3-4,col3:12 Eph5:21
Date nights aren't always all fun and games. In fact, as I've just written in a section of my book it is necessary to have the tough conversations over dinner in order to get to a place perhaps where you can fully enjoy one another again. In a most recent date with my hubby as we rode in the car to dinner, I agonized about whether or not to have a conversation with him that had been on my heart for some time. I kept saying "oh I can do it later. I don't want to ruin our date!" Well, God wouldn't let me chicken out because through prayer and fasting God gave me the tools (specific verses) I needed to have the tough conversation and as the lion mustered up the courage to face the wizard so would I! aaaaaaaaa! I hate conflict- don't you? Here's the deal though... through my preparation what I was reminded of were three things: One, my approach is everything! Two, my approach is everything! And Three, why my approach is everything! My approach is never about me approaching my husband in a way that gets him to give me what I want, but my approach is about showing my husband how much I love and respect him. When we approach our spouses as God says " to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit and to consider others better than yourselves, to be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry and to clothe ourselves in humility," then we are communicating our hurts in love not just our hurts. Satan wanted me to think that having a tough conversation over dinner would ruin our date, but he was wrong once again and in the end after a few soggy napkins it proved to be exactly what our date needed. Don't be afraid of the tough conversation... saturate yourself in the word and prayer and if your led, to fasting. Lastly, remember that the tongue is a "restless evil full of deadly poison" just like Satan. It doesn't take much to ruin a relationship with our tongues. For some, it already has. Get back to loving and start taking responsibility for your marriage. Allow your approach to be willing to listen -more than your will to be heard. "Submit to one another out of reverance for Christ" not because your spouse "deserves it" but because Christ does! :)
Scripture references: James 3:8,James1:19,Philippians2:3-4,col3:12 Eph5:21
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
BE STILL
Thanks for all of your posts and comments! The idea is to make sure you are setting time whether it be a date night or date lunch etc. for your spouse. Make Him or Her the Priority of your time- it's says everything!
-In my recent time with the Lord I was studying Psalm 46:10 " Be still and know that I am God;" It occurred to me that I must be still in order to REALLY know God. A quick quiet time here and a quick bible reading there is great don't get me wrong; but it's when I am still and in the presence of the Lord that I feel and create the most intimacy with Him. When I am still and Intimate with the Lord, I am reminded of the real Priorities in my life. I have to learn to say "No" to the "Busies" because my spouse means more. I have to Be Still and by knowing who God is I know what his desire is for me as a wife and that is to choose my husband first- to love him as Christ loves him. Can you commit a time once a week to Be Still with your spouse....?
-In my recent time with the Lord I was studying Psalm 46:10 " Be still and know that I am God;" It occurred to me that I must be still in order to REALLY know God. A quick quiet time here and a quick bible reading there is great don't get me wrong; but it's when I am still and in the presence of the Lord that I feel and create the most intimacy with Him. When I am still and Intimate with the Lord, I am reminded of the real Priorities in my life. I have to learn to say "No" to the "Busies" because my spouse means more. I have to Be Still and by knowing who God is I know what his desire is for me as a wife and that is to choose my husband first- to love him as Christ loves him. Can you commit a time once a week to Be Still with your spouse....?
Monday, January 3, 2011
Are You Dating?
How many of you have a planned date night with your spouse each week and if not, what's keeping you from doing so?
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