Head Case!!

My husband has been really busy these past two weeks getting ready for the biggest conference of his working career. I have been basically a single mom with him getting home late and sometimes not at all,and It's been tough but i've been okay with it. That's just the way it is right now. Well, after a long week we had TWO great date nights this past weekend. Friday, we saw Jerry Seinfeld and Saturday, Hootie and the Blowfish. My love tank was filled needless to say. So, after a great weekend with my hubby and lots of family time with the kids, I noticed these feelings of resentment creeping in and I thought "where in the world is this coming from?" Well, I struggled with it all day Sunday and I kept going over and over in my head of why I could be feeling resentful. I knew he was going to be gone next week. It's the company's national sales meeting. I was prepared mentally, or was I? Well, here's the deal. I didn't know why I was in this funk. I quite honestly just wanted to throw a tantrum because I was so tired of having to be okay and supportive all the time. That's the truth my heart was a mess. I cried in the bathroom and kept asking God for help. "Lord, please help me to remember that what I do is for you and not for men, and to not grow weary in doing good for at the proper time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up." I literally was quoting these verses in my brain, but i was like being angry about them... like saying " what harvest will I reap?" I'm tired, I'm exhausted, and I need help! This will be the second week in a row that he's gone. uglh!" Well, My husband had to run to the office for a second so he wasn't home during my lil pow wow and I just wanted to call him and just tell him how I felt and how frusturated I was and go on and on about how I'm dreading next week and just as I was winning this battle against him in my head, the phone rings! It's him! "Here's my chance." But I didn't! I answered his call and said okay to him telling me that he was on the way home. I told him I loved him and I hung up I then cried somemore. What is wrong with me!!! I'm usually cool about all of this stuff. Well, I kept focusing on getting my thoughts right. "this is the most important time for him do not make this about you." I feel like the holy spirit was working in me because everything in my being wanted to tell him how hard this has been for me and blah blah blah! Well, My husband walked in the door and I put a smile on my face and he went over his presentation with me and I asked him if I could pray for Him. In my prayer it all came out. I Prayed against Satan and his attempt to have me discourage my husband. I confessed it and I was instantly freed! Satan wanted me to ruin this important time for him with nonsense. I was given a valuable reminder that satan is all over our marriages and wants to see them in shabbles. He wants us to be unsupportive and whiney. He wants us to have attitudes and to be moody when things don't go our way and make our spouses life miserable. My husband hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't neglected me/us this weekend- and I knew he would be gone next week. Satan is real and he schemes and we have to be ready. We have to be ready with the truth of God in our hearts so that the battle can be won in our minds. The entire mental battle was about doing the right thing regardless of how I felt. I kissed him goodbye this morning and later he called me around lunchtime with excitement and sent me pictures of the set up at the conference. I was just smiling so proudly on the other end. You lose, Satan- I didn't ruin this for him.
( To God be the glory!) Sara