Head Case!!

My husband has been really busy these past two weeks getting ready for the biggest conference of his working career. I have been basically a single mom with him getting home late and sometimes not at all,and It's been tough but i've been okay with it. That's just the way it is right now. Well, after a long week we had TWO great date nights this past weekend. Friday, we saw Jerry Seinfeld and Saturday, Hootie and the Blowfish. My love tank was filled needless to say. So, after a great weekend with my hubby and lots of family time with the kids, I noticed these feelings of resentment creeping in and I thought "where in the world is this coming from?" Well, I struggled with it all day Sunday and I kept going over and over in my head of why I could be feeling resentful. I knew he was going to be gone next week. It's the company's national sales meeting. I was prepared mentally, or was I? Well, here's the deal. I didn't know why I was in this funk. I quite honestly just wanted to throw a tantrum because I was so tired of having to be okay and supportive all the time. That's the truth my heart was a mess. I cried in the bathroom and kept asking God for help. "Lord, please help me to remember that what I do is for you and not for men, and to not grow weary in doing good for at the proper time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up." I literally was quoting these verses in my brain, but i was like being angry about them... like saying " what harvest will I reap?" I'm tired, I'm exhausted, and I need help! This will be the second week in a row that he's gone. uglh!" Well, My husband had to run to the office for a second so he wasn't home during my lil pow wow and I just wanted to call him and just tell him how I felt and how frusturated I was and go on and on about how I'm dreading next week and just as I was winning this battle against him in my head, the phone rings! It's him! "Here's my chance." But I didn't! I answered his call and said okay to him telling me that he was on the way home. I told him I loved him and I hung up I then cried somemore. What is wrong with me!!! I'm usually cool about all of this stuff. Well, I kept focusing on getting my thoughts right. "this is the most important time for him do not make this about you." I feel like the holy spirit was working in me because everything in my being wanted to tell him how hard this has been for me and blah blah blah! Well, My husband walked in the door and I put a smile on my face and he went over his presentation with me and I asked him if I could pray for Him. In my prayer it all came out. I Prayed against Satan and his attempt to have me discourage my husband. I confessed it and I was instantly freed! Satan wanted me to ruin this important time for him with nonsense. I was given a valuable reminder that satan is all over our marriages and wants to see them in shabbles. He wants us to be unsupportive and whiney. He wants us to have attitudes and to be moody when things don't go our way and make our spouses life miserable. My husband hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't neglected me/us this weekend- and I knew he would be gone next week. Satan is real and he schemes and we have to be ready. We have to be ready with the truth of God in our hearts so that the battle can be won in our minds. The entire mental battle was about doing the right thing regardless of how I felt. I kissed him goodbye this morning and later he called me around lunchtime with excitement and sent me pictures of the set up at the conference. I was just smiling so proudly on the other end. You lose, Satan- I didn't ruin this for him.
( To God be the glory!) Sara

Love Is A Verb!

Whoever said "love is a feeling!" Oh, wait that was a song back in the 80's I think or it could be from any song on the radio except the christian radio station of course. Infact, if we were to pick apart the songs on love from the secular artists they would say things like you make me feel X, or talk about their heartbreak, and let's not forget sex in their attempt to define love. We sing along because we like the beat and we can relate to the feelings they discuss but what have we done? We have allowed our brains to be saturated in this nonsense that doesn't define love at all. It defines those aspects that we long for and deal with when in love but it's not what makes love-Love. Let's change the station and listen to what Christian artists are singing about love. That can be summed up in one word- God! We all learned in sunday school " God is love" and we've heard it preached over and over "God is love" but what does that really mean. I can't fully grasp the measure in which he loves me, but he definitely makes it clear on how to love and not how to feel loved. God's way is so radical that very few only experience true love. We get into marriag often times trying so hard to feel loved and miss the oppurtunity to love. I tried to love the way the world sings about making my feelings the priority and making my marriage about me, but when I decided to make it about honoring God with loving my husband more than myself and making a conscious choice EVERYDAY to out serve him and he takes the same approach then marriage is awesome! You must learn how to love in order to feel loved. I've never felt like it's been work and there are some of you that feel like it's down right Hard Labor. It's only hard when you're loving with conditions instead of gracing those conditions in love. Take the first step! 1. Identify what his or her needs are and decide to put those needs above your own. 2. Out serve them and sacrifice for them the way Christ did for you and watch how God's way once again proves to be Best. If we could just stop being so prideful and stubborn and choose to be humble we'd love. What are you sacrificing for your spouse? Is it your time or do others get the attention that your spouse longs for? Are you too busy for each other? Are you too busy for your dates? Love- it is a verb and Jesus demonstrated that perfectly, but I can sure bet he didn't FEEL like being whipped, and he didn't FEEL like being spit on,and he didn't FEEL like dying. I'm just so glad Love isn't a feeling! Sacrifice, put your spouses needs above your own and start loving-
John 13:34-35 Jesus says "A new command I give you: Love one another as I have loved you...By this all men will know that you are my disciples if you love one another."

Put Down the Boxing Gloves

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it..." (James 4)

Date nights aren't always all fun and games. In fact, as I've just written in a section of my book it is necessary to have the tough conversations over dinner in order to get to a place perhaps where you can fully enjoy one another again. In a most recent date with my hubby as we rode in the car to dinner, I agonized about whether or not to have a conversation with him that had been on my heart for some time. I kept saying "oh I can do it later. I don't want to ruin our date!" Well, God wouldn't let me chicken out because through prayer and fasting God gave me the tools (specific verses) I needed to have the tough conversation and as the lion mustered up the courage to face the wizard so would I! aaaaaaaaa! I hate conflict- don't you? Here's the deal though... through my preparation what I was reminded of were three things: One, my approach is everything! Two, my approach is everything! And Three, why my approach is everything! My approach is never about me approaching my husband in a way that gets him to give me what I want, but my approach is about showing my husband how much I love and respect him. When we approach our spouses as God says " to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit and to consider others better than yourselves, to be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry and to clothe ourselves in humility," then we are communicating our hurts in love not just our hurts. Satan wanted me to think that having a tough conversation over dinner would ruin our date, but he was wrong once again and in the end after a few soggy napkins it proved to be exactly what our date needed. Don't be afraid of the tough conversation... saturate yourself in the word and prayer and if your led, to fasting. Lastly, remember that the tongue is a "restless evil full of deadly poison" just like Satan. It doesn't take much to ruin a relationship with our tongues. For some, it already has. Get back to loving and start taking responsibility for your marriage. Allow your approach to be willing to listen -more than your will to be heard. "Submit to one another out of reverance for Christ" not because your spouse "deserves it" but because Christ does! :)

Scripture references: James 3:8,James1:19,Philippians2:3-4,col3:12 Eph5:21

BE STILL

Thanks for all of your posts and comments! The idea is to make sure you are setting time whether it be a date night or date lunch etc. for your spouse. Make Him or Her the Priority of your time- it's says everything!
-In my recent time with the Lord I was studying Psalm 46:10 " Be still and know that I am God;" It occurred to me that I must be still in order to REALLY know God. A quick quiet time here and a quick bible reading there is great don't get me wrong; but it's when I am still and in the presence of the Lord that I feel and create the most intimacy with Him. When I am still and Intimate with the Lord, I am reminded of the real Priorities in my life. I have to learn to say "No" to the "Busies" because my spouse means more. I have to Be Still and by knowing who God is I know what his desire is for me as a wife and that is to choose my husband first- to love him as Christ loves him. Can you commit a time once a week to Be Still with your spouse....?

Are You Dating?

How many of you have a planned date night with your spouse each week and if not, what's keeping you from doing so?