I'm not ashamed... Should I be?

Romans 1:16 " For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile."

When I read this verse last night and then again this morning, I couldn't help but ask is this me? Could I place my name in the place of Paul's and boldly profess that I am not ashamed of the Gospel? I'm not sure because truthfully sometimes I find myself cowering in the most intimidating situations and then other times, you can't hush me up! So it was interesting that  just this morning I was sitting outside a little café with my computer and notes working on ministry stuff and these lovely older women walk by. They were so tickeled by the great food they had just experienced in the cafe' that they started talking to me about it. I quickly recognized that they were " outsiders" and  not from the South, and after hearing about all the hush puppies they had eaten and how they didn't really care for grits, but actually did some cotton picking, I couldn't help but to think " I wonder if they know Jesus."

Well, the conversation started to die down and the women simply apologized for bothering me while I was working. "What do you do?" She asked. "Oh Gosh" I thought ,and the panic began and my heart started racing and my foot started tapping at a faster pace-This was it! This is that moment where I can cower with embarrassment and shame because it's a little awkward to talk about faith in public  and just give a generic answer ( I'm a mom and oh well just writing etc), or will I own my faith and answer as a women who has been transformed by the gospel...

YES!!!  I'm happy to report I did not cower but spoke from the joy that resides in my heart and professed with confidence that" I am Christian speaker who speaks to encourage others with the Hope that they have through a relationship with Jesus Christ."  Whew I said it- and it felt so good! :) There was a silent awkward pause ( of course!!!) and then one spoke up and said " well, that's good" while the other, I could tell, the wheels got to turnin' (as we say down  here in the south)

15 minutes later I found myself speaking in depth about the difference in being a  "church goer" ( who I use to be...a Christian in motion but no real devotion) and someone who's so in love with Jesus that they own their faith and actually enjoy it! They smiled and thanked me and  we said good bye!
 
I don't know what God will do with the seed that was planted, or if anything about our conversation will take root in their hearts, or if it will be added to their exciting list of things they experienced in Charleston, but I do know for me and for today, and hopefully everyday I will not cower as if I have something to be embarrassed about, but can  say " Sara, is not ashamed of the gospel, Because it is the Power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes." 


I hope you're encouraged to own your faith and live out what should be an outpouring of what is in your heart! Luke 6:45 "for out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.'

Simply Encouraged Ministries
"Making God all you want, Experiencing all you need"

How to bring back the spark- Must read!!

I haven't blogged in sometime and actually it's been good for me.  I've really gained a whole new perspective on why I'm blogging in the first place. It's not about self promotion, really, but in all honesty, I felt more like I had to blog to promote myself and my ideas because I'm writing a book and starting a ministry. But now, I've discovered the want to!   I realize that I have the potential to reach more people and impact more lives through this blog than any thing  I write in paperback and even anything I get to share on stage.  Ok, so now that I've gotten that off my chest I want to spark a real conversation about what's real! :)  And I need your help because our Jesus loving hearts are being deceived. It's time to come together as believers and start encouraging and holding each other accountable- don't yah think?  I love being held accountable. I love getting rid of the yuk that builds inside my heart because it's what dilutes my spirit.  So let's engage in a heart conversation...

 Question? How is your marriage? Are you feeling all squirmy inside? A little uncomfy with that questions?  Yea, I know. Who is going to respond honestly about their marriage when everyone can read it. I get it! But so what! We don' t have perfect marriages, there are some that are struggling and then some really good ones. But we have to talk about it in order to get better!  I guess the important place to start is to ask yourself what are you going to do about it? Wait on Him? Wait on Her?  I guess the issue is if we want things to be better then we have to get to the root.  We have to start with our hearts- not that thing that keeps our blood flowing, but really  that thing inside that drives us. It is the thing that compels us to act and to love.

Here in Charleston, there is a  Love and Respect marriage conference coming and I started thinking - will it really help our marriages?  I guess for some of us we just need a spark which is just a little reminder of what full submission  to one another  out of reverence for Christ looks like but for others of us it won't ignite anything.  We feel way too defeated and probably are going because our friends invited us and we find ourselves pretending again with " hey I got it altogether."  It happens right! Even in the good marriages we don't always feel mushy gushy for each other,  but there is a real love commitment there, but  for others of us it's deeper than that and there is pain- Real pain! So, is a marriage conference focusing on what we as Christians need to do according to God's word going to help? Anytime we apply God's teachings to our lives we are blessed,  but will it ignite that spark where an absolute explosion will occur in our marriages? How do we really gain that spark back?  This is a date night blog after all, so shouldn't I be promoting more dates? Maybe it's having more sex or more communication, more laughs? What is the real solution? These things definitely contribute don't they? But it's still not enough- why? It's a hard but simple truth to answer...

But, my answer is this- We have to get back to the basics!!  And start with the basic question?  Who is at the center of our hearts? Really be honest with yourself.   Who or what do you talk and think about all of the time?    Is it your spouse? Shouldn't it be your spouse?  Actually, I hope not! Yep- you heard me. If your spouse is at the center of your heart then there lies the problem.  See this marriage conference will be helpful but only to those who have this right.  If your like me at some point you've found yourself  building up frustration and anger waiting on your spouse to "come around" to fill that yearning that says " I need more." We've built a foundation based on what our spouse is and isn't giving us. Bottom line- We have allowed our spouses to replace Jesus in our hearts!

That's it!!!  See I told you it was a hard but simple truth! Where is God? God knew that everything would compete with Him for our hearts and Paul even talks about our hearts becoming divided when we get married, but the problems occurs because we really never gave God our whole heart in the first place, or maybe your like me and you let a shift occur not realizing it. Either way you have to ask yourself the tough question because God did not design our spouses or any other human to replace that heart relationship that we are suppose to have with Him first. (Matt 22:37-40) Love, God with all our heart and then love your neighbor ( spouse).   Our love for Jesus has to be at the heart of who we are if we want to ignite an absolute fire in our marriages. So is He? I'm serious. Y'all we have to get this. We have marriages failing and or setting a horrible example of what "loving Christian" marriages look like because maybe we just aren't really all that in love with the one who created marriage in the first place.

 I can only speak from experience. There is no way I can write a blog about something that I haven't experienced. That goes against everything Jesus taught in " taking the plank out of your own eye and then you can see clearly to help others.( Matt 7:5).  When I first married Chuck, we were Christians  so I figured it's all going to be great- right! Sparks all over the place.  Then the sparks weren't as consistent and I was feeling more of the ashes. He was burning out working all of the time and I had my deal going on with teaching and coaching etc. and then I kept feeling frustrated and the date nights were  creating some sparks but something was missing-That blazing fire!! you know what I'm saying?  What had happened?  I had given my husband my whole heart and it shouldn't be this way!  But that was it exactly! While laying in bed one night  frustrated, I heard the quiet voice from the Holy Spirit say "Sara,  make me your heart not your husband." I was then reminded of the several times in scripture where God says, "Seek me with all your heart, search for me as looking for silver, etc. I couldn't believe my realization- "I had replaced my love for God with my love for my husband- ouchy!!  And instead of viewing him as this gift  to enjoy life with, he had become my life. No wonder I was all over the place, no wonder my feelings of the day were being dictated on what he had done for me or said to me that day.  No wonder I was a wreck and my cries were- help me God I'm in pain!  I don't totally feel loved by my husband today." Why, because he didn't tell me that I looked beautiful a million times, or oh, He only told me twice that he loved me today, ha ha. Girls! We are crazy! I know men, you are thanking me, But that's what happens when we put our spouses in the place of where God should be. It's that constant nagging and expectation" to fill me up today!" I'm so glad I let God get a hold of me  So, I did what any crazy person in love would do.  I would put all my energies into getting to know my Jesus all over again. I'd study His word intently asking the hard questions such as, where do I fall way short and what do I need to do and I even asked  different women to disciple me! I became a sponge! I didn't have time to think about all of the things I wasn't "getting" from my husband, and really started experiencing God at a whole new level- the place my husband would never fill. " I was experiencing that daily bread thing Jesus was talking about. That thing I couldn't live with out, that one thing I really looked forward to in the am. Today, Jesus may have used " coffee" instead of bread because we can't seem to live with out that- all you coffee drinkers. ha! But that's what it's like. You love him so much that he is what you look forward to and it is the thing that necessitates your day.  Seriously though,  Today, I am  more equipped to love my husband as Christ loves me  and the flip side is as I was seeking the Lord I saw God working in my husband's life and now he and I both are ignited by His love for us, and even in our toughest challenges we still manage to keep the fire burning.     Friends, here's the deal! It's not complicated. We have to get back to the basics of our faith. When we get that right then our true love for the Lord will create the spark that will ignite an absolute explosion in our marriages.  I hope you feel encouraged!! Please share your story... others need to be encouraged by the your authentic struggle in keeping God as the focus of your heart.

Head Case!!

My husband has been really busy these past two weeks getting ready for the biggest conference of his working career. I have been basically a single mom with him getting home late and sometimes not at all,and It's been tough but i've been okay with it. That's just the way it is right now. Well, after a long week we had TWO great date nights this past weekend. Friday, we saw Jerry Seinfeld and Saturday, Hootie and the Blowfish. My love tank was filled needless to say. So, after a great weekend with my hubby and lots of family time with the kids, I noticed these feelings of resentment creeping in and I thought "where in the world is this coming from?" Well, I struggled with it all day Sunday and I kept going over and over in my head of why I could be feeling resentful. I knew he was going to be gone next week. It's the company's national sales meeting. I was prepared mentally, or was I? Well, here's the deal. I didn't know why I was in this funk. I quite honestly just wanted to throw a tantrum because I was so tired of having to be okay and supportive all the time. That's the truth my heart was a mess. I cried in the bathroom and kept asking God for help. "Lord, please help me to remember that what I do is for you and not for men, and to not grow weary in doing good for at the proper time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up." I literally was quoting these verses in my brain, but i was like being angry about them... like saying " what harvest will I reap?" I'm tired, I'm exhausted, and I need help! This will be the second week in a row that he's gone. uglh!" Well, My husband had to run to the office for a second so he wasn't home during my lil pow wow and I just wanted to call him and just tell him how I felt and how frusturated I was and go on and on about how I'm dreading next week and just as I was winning this battle against him in my head, the phone rings! It's him! "Here's my chance." But I didn't! I answered his call and said okay to him telling me that he was on the way home. I told him I loved him and I hung up I then cried somemore. What is wrong with me!!! I'm usually cool about all of this stuff. Well, I kept focusing on getting my thoughts right. "this is the most important time for him do not make this about you." I feel like the holy spirit was working in me because everything in my being wanted to tell him how hard this has been for me and blah blah blah! Well, My husband walked in the door and I put a smile on my face and he went over his presentation with me and I asked him if I could pray for Him. In my prayer it all came out. I Prayed against Satan and his attempt to have me discourage my husband. I confessed it and I was instantly freed! Satan wanted me to ruin this important time for him with nonsense. I was given a valuable reminder that satan is all over our marriages and wants to see them in shabbles. He wants us to be unsupportive and whiney. He wants us to have attitudes and to be moody when things don't go our way and make our spouses life miserable. My husband hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't neglected me/us this weekend- and I knew he would be gone next week. Satan is real and he schemes and we have to be ready. We have to be ready with the truth of God in our hearts so that the battle can be won in our minds. The entire mental battle was about doing the right thing regardless of how I felt. I kissed him goodbye this morning and later he called me around lunchtime with excitement and sent me pictures of the set up at the conference. I was just smiling so proudly on the other end. You lose, Satan- I didn't ruin this for him.
( To God be the glory!) Sara

Love Is A Verb!

Whoever said "love is a feeling!" Oh, wait that was a song back in the 80's I think or it could be from any song on the radio except the christian radio station of course. Infact, if we were to pick apart the songs on love from the secular artists they would say things like you make me feel X, or talk about their heartbreak, and let's not forget sex in their attempt to define love. We sing along because we like the beat and we can relate to the feelings they discuss but what have we done? We have allowed our brains to be saturated in this nonsense that doesn't define love at all. It defines those aspects that we long for and deal with when in love but it's not what makes love-Love. Let's change the station and listen to what Christian artists are singing about love. That can be summed up in one word- God! We all learned in sunday school " God is love" and we've heard it preached over and over "God is love" but what does that really mean. I can't fully grasp the measure in which he loves me, but he definitely makes it clear on how to love and not how to feel loved. God's way is so radical that very few only experience true love. We get into marriag often times trying so hard to feel loved and miss the oppurtunity to love. I tried to love the way the world sings about making my feelings the priority and making my marriage about me, but when I decided to make it about honoring God with loving my husband more than myself and making a conscious choice EVERYDAY to out serve him and he takes the same approach then marriage is awesome! You must learn how to love in order to feel loved. I've never felt like it's been work and there are some of you that feel like it's down right Hard Labor. It's only hard when you're loving with conditions instead of gracing those conditions in love. Take the first step! 1. Identify what his or her needs are and decide to put those needs above your own. 2. Out serve them and sacrifice for them the way Christ did for you and watch how God's way once again proves to be Best. If we could just stop being so prideful and stubborn and choose to be humble we'd love. What are you sacrificing for your spouse? Is it your time or do others get the attention that your spouse longs for? Are you too busy for each other? Are you too busy for your dates? Love- it is a verb and Jesus demonstrated that perfectly, but I can sure bet he didn't FEEL like being whipped, and he didn't FEEL like being spit on,and he didn't FEEL like dying. I'm just so glad Love isn't a feeling! Sacrifice, put your spouses needs above your own and start loving-
John 13:34-35 Jesus says "A new command I give you: Love one another as I have loved you...By this all men will know that you are my disciples if you love one another."

Put Down the Boxing Gloves

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it..." (James 4)

Date nights aren't always all fun and games. In fact, as I've just written in a section of my book it is necessary to have the tough conversations over dinner in order to get to a place perhaps where you can fully enjoy one another again. In a most recent date with my hubby as we rode in the car to dinner, I agonized about whether or not to have a conversation with him that had been on my heart for some time. I kept saying "oh I can do it later. I don't want to ruin our date!" Well, God wouldn't let me chicken out because through prayer and fasting God gave me the tools (specific verses) I needed to have the tough conversation and as the lion mustered up the courage to face the wizard so would I! aaaaaaaaa! I hate conflict- don't you? Here's the deal though... through my preparation what I was reminded of were three things: One, my approach is everything! Two, my approach is everything! And Three, why my approach is everything! My approach is never about me approaching my husband in a way that gets him to give me what I want, but my approach is about showing my husband how much I love and respect him. When we approach our spouses as God says " to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit and to consider others better than yourselves, to be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry and to clothe ourselves in humility," then we are communicating our hurts in love not just our hurts. Satan wanted me to think that having a tough conversation over dinner would ruin our date, but he was wrong once again and in the end after a few soggy napkins it proved to be exactly what our date needed. Don't be afraid of the tough conversation... saturate yourself in the word and prayer and if your led, to fasting. Lastly, remember that the tongue is a "restless evil full of deadly poison" just like Satan. It doesn't take much to ruin a relationship with our tongues. For some, it already has. Get back to loving and start taking responsibility for your marriage. Allow your approach to be willing to listen -more than your will to be heard. "Submit to one another out of reverance for Christ" not because your spouse "deserves it" but because Christ does! :)

Scripture references: James 3:8,James1:19,Philippians2:3-4,col3:12 Eph5:21

BE STILL

Thanks for all of your posts and comments! The idea is to make sure you are setting time whether it be a date night or date lunch etc. for your spouse. Make Him or Her the Priority of your time- it's says everything!
-In my recent time with the Lord I was studying Psalm 46:10 " Be still and know that I am God;" It occurred to me that I must be still in order to REALLY know God. A quick quiet time here and a quick bible reading there is great don't get me wrong; but it's when I am still and in the presence of the Lord that I feel and create the most intimacy with Him. When I am still and Intimate with the Lord, I am reminded of the real Priorities in my life. I have to learn to say "No" to the "Busies" because my spouse means more. I have to Be Still and by knowing who God is I know what his desire is for me as a wife and that is to choose my husband first- to love him as Christ loves him. Can you commit a time once a week to Be Still with your spouse....?

Are You Dating?

How many of you have a planned date night with your spouse each week and if not, what's keeping you from doing so?